i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
