he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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