i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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