nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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