I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
