it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
