Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
