every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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