It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
