I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
