so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
