Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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