pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
