In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
