Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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