he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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