Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
