Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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