you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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