So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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