How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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