Swine flu. Run for my life!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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