We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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