You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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