Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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