recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i think i just lost a toe
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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