no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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