girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
