Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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