If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
