My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
