I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
