Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
