i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
