I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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