VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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