yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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