On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
