Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
