Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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