Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
