I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
