Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
