That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
