Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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