my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just found puke in my bra..
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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