Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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