Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
