we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
