Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
