i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
