Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
