I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
