dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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